To Shop Or Not To Shop?

Students wrote soliloquies based of off Hamlet's famous speech in order to solve a problem they faced in their life.

By: Anonymous

To shop or not to shop—that is the question:

Whether ‘tis better to make the trip

And browse the endless selection,

Or to be home snuggled on the couch,

And, by staying, enjoy COVID-19 protections.

To shop, to stay cozy and warm—

No more – and by shopping to say I face

The early gift-giving rush for the events

That each December holds—

‘Tis a situation

I do not wish to face.

To stay home, to rest—

To rest, perhaps too long. Ay there’s the problem,

For in avoiding stores what sales may come about

When we are hiding from the under-nose maskers

Must make us stop and think.

That’s the idea

That makes disaster of staying in.

For who really wants to face the busy stores,

The long lines,

The stubborn person’s exposed nose,

The disappointment in empty bank accounts,

The tired and frustrated cashiers,

The embarrassment when that pesky debit card declines,

And the awful feeling

That arises when something you need reads Out of Stock,

When it has been abundant

Online and in-stores recently?

Who would heed the shopper’s rash desire,

To wait or push through the never ending crowds,

But that the horror that a deal may be missed while lounging,

The latest fashion trends that have been purchased

By all our friends

While we stand in bewildered stupor,

Wishing we had gone out

Instead of catching up on Grey’s Anatomy?

Thus the thrill of new purchases does make shoppers of us all,

And thus the comfort of staying in

Is destroyed by persisting pulls to products,

And peaceful moments of Netflix and tea

With this regard their usefulness is cut short

And lose our attention in favor of the mindless shop.