The Theater Kid

This is based of the novel The Canterberry Tales. The class picked the culture of the school and each student picked someone to describe in the school. Each student had to have in there prologue: 30 lines, be in iambic pentameter (ten syllables per line), use heroic couplets and have at least two allusions.

By Peyton Krinsky

There was, alas, the dreaded “theater kid,” Whose salient presence you must forbid. They beg for attention like Eponine, And like Mean Girls, embody angsty teens. They stand in their wigs and character shoes, Belting showtunes, like Orpheus the Muse. “I can’t; I have rehearsal” - all they say, In a daze, dreaming of the Great White Way. The cast list goes up - the stampede begins, Some emerge with glee, others with chagrin. Rehearsals start and it’s all fun and games, Until tech week comes and they go insane! Draped fully in musical theater merch, They belt high A’s on center stage: their church. Sporting Hamilton, Wicked, and Cats shirts, T’ward you they pirouette and loudly blurt, “Come see our show!” in piercing unison, With pleas as sad as Dear Evan Hansen. They sing unsolicited during class, And sport toxic egos with bitter sass. They refuse to pay attention to sports, Hating pop music and all of that sort. With Playbill stacks as tall as Everest, They denounce milk - the most evil bev’rage. The cult deeply worships Patti LuPone, Who snatches audience members’ cell phones. At their heart, the theater kids are sincere, Members of a family that coheres, Leads and understudies, friends and their foe; After all, they aim to put on a show.